Queen of whales

There are always some chats which you want to frame and hang.

A: Tujhe ek course padhana chahiye. Self esteem proportionate to size 101.
me: Hmmm, you have a point.
A: I don't know how you manage.
me: Muskhil thodi naa hai. What is the worst they can call me?
A: Mujhe kya pata? Elephant, whale, moti?
me: Usmein kya hai? Koi whale bole toh uska simple reply hai: "I'm waiting to be declared as a new species."
A: ...
...
...
me: Theek hai, "I'm waiting to be declared as the queen of whales!"
A: Bahut paisa kamayegi tu.

Also

me: Haan re, I'm never getting a boy.
A: True.
me: Eh? That was rude.
A: I'm just saying.. you won't get a boy. You'll get a man.
me: Acha.
A: *Twirls you into arms, puts on music from Amelie and kisses till you forget about getting a boyfriend*
me: Should I cut, copy, paste to dearest girlfriend?
A: Kar le. If she breaks up with me, you can be my lifelong rebound. :*
me: Whee. :-|

#Lesson for today: Self esteem is easy. Love isn't.

Why does Christina Aguilera even try singing peppy songs when her voice is point blank perfect for sad songs?

I'm in love.

With Him.

#Lesson for the day: What? It's love.

The hours

It takes exactly 17 minutes and 38 seconds to go from the north of delhi to the west in the metro. I checked. Four times. It takes just a little more than that to go from actually wanting to laugh and snicker to lying comatose on the bed staring up at the fan that never tires, even though the only thing it knows is to go around in circles. It takes an hour longer to finally fall asleep, even though you know you won't like the dreams that are bound to come. It takes two hours more to think about what you've started doing and feel bad about it. And then immediately stop caring because that is what got you into this mess in the first place.

It takes till nightfall for the entire morning to wash away from your mind so that you can cry a little. No reason, it feels right to be letting something go. It takes till midnight for the music to start. Somewhere in my mind, Snow Patrol and Coldplay begin to alternately opening wounds and plastering them with band-aids. It takes the three seconds post midnight to check the chat that just came and feel the lump settling in your throat. It takes nineteen whole hours for reality to come crashing down my head and I let out one little tear, just to finish up the day's quota.

It takes nineteen hours, 30 minutes and some lingering seconds to stop counting the hours, minutes and seconds and finally take off the wrist watch.

It still takes too many hours, minutes and wasted tears for the world to finally stop.

#Lesson for today: When it hurts, laugh about the weather.

She never felt quite as comfortable in the curves of someone else's body. Does anything else matter, she mused as she felt her grin grow wider with each passing second. Secrets tasted much better than propriety, after all.

#Lesson for today: None, given up.

Of everything the rain isn't yet

And I dreamed of a slippery road,
running uphill when I wanted to go down
a small shack on the edge of the cliff
teetering, almost daring gravity to make it fall
where there is a sad looking boy, a stranger
who'll save me from the ranks of those that
forget to believe in love

And then I dreamed of hands that would
throw little raindrops my way
just because they wanted to move
of steam rising from our cups and
the thousand smoldering fires in the
valley that spun itself around us
and I opened my eyes to find that I was
still on my own
only the dream of happiness had grown

(Click to Enlarge)

#Lesson for today: There are at least two for real Comic Book Guy's out there in the world.

Omelette du Fromage

Lemon Girl is proud to report that she successfully pulled off a delicious cheese omelet at the first try.

#Lesson for today: I may not be able to go back to normal omelettes.

There is the perfect template for me in the designer part of blogger. With lemons and stripes. And it makes me so sad that it does not go along with the feel of the blog.

I wish it did. :(

Whom? Whom?

Douglas Adams said it was Mice, who were secretly controlling mankind.

Tom Holt says it is Frogs.

Whom to believe?

#Lesson for today: Mankind is definitely not controlling mankind.

Meme’d

Ten things you wish you could say to people right now:
~ I don’t like you much.
~ I really miss you but have too much pride to say so
~ I wish you didn’t love somebody else
~ Don’t stop believing in yourself, honey
~ You’re going down the wrong way, you’ll be sorry
~ If only we could spend every.waking.moment. together, I’d be happy
~ Come back please, you’ve been missed
~ Somewhere, there is somebody waiting for you. Patience
~ You make my heart burst into twenty thousand gazillion smiles
~ You do realize that I am always right?

Nine things about yourself:
- I like lemons
- and lemonade
- and animals
- and Questionable Content
- and wear mismatched clothes
- and forget where I was supposed to go
- and can’t get enough of books
- and can be found dancing to funny songs
- and having epiphanies by the hour (or week)

Eight ways to win your heart:
` Love my doggie
` Have good language skills. Good enough to be able to correct me
` Text me crazy lyrics at any point of the day
` Daydream with me, about me, for me
` Be interesting. Tell me what you like, everything. Fromquantamphysicstopoopjokes
` Know that it’s fine if I’m acting crazy. Act with me. Don’t tell me I’m crazy though.
` Don’t be gross. That’s my job.
` Read blog and comment liberally.

Seven things that cross your mind a lot:
- Would this have a Wikipedia entry?
- Oooooh, blog post!
- I am a ninja! I will make you my bitch!
- How did I end up like this? I used to be fine.
- But I’m happy ending up like this, I think.
- I want my own tragic kingdom. Or an hour in Narnia.

Six things you wish you never did:
~ Opened my mouth, to start with.
~ Given people the wrong idea.
~ Given advice
~ Dated (yes, I do regret having those particular boyfriend(s))
~ Stopped dancing
~ Maths

Five turn-offs:
- Over confidence.
- Facebook profiles.
- Thinking you’re already an important part of my life.
- Pragmatism.
- “I don’t read books/like animals”. Go die, fucker.

Four turn-ons:
- Books + Spectacles *drooooool*
- Lack of certain common senses.
- That wild, crazy look in the eyes that says I love you.
- The perfect hug.

Three things you want to do before you die:
- Write a book. A good one. A makes-me-filthy-stinking-rich-yet-the-love-of-all-age-groups one.
- Hug a panda.
- Love, properly.

Two smileys that describe you:
- B-)
- :-> (quite the smug bitch, I can be)

One confession:
I am a ninja. I make people my bitch!

#Lesson for today: Memes. Loath them, dislike them, you can’t ignore them.

Hello

I'm finally over with my internship. Woo-Hoo! What lemontastic lessons did I learn there, you ask?

#1. It is acceptable to use the words boobs on the world page of a newspaper but nowhere else.
(Read As: Indian women are not in possession of them; all foreigners are)

#2. All socialist news will include "Brinda Karat has commented".
(Read As: Only acceptable socialist hottie in our country)

#3. The day feels incomplete if the Maoists/Naxals/Kashmiri Militants didn't do anything news-worthy.
(Read As: This is how we sensationalize newspapers)

#4. Shashi Tharoor + Twitter = Newspaper Fodder
(Read As: He's easy to quote, why waste time anywhere else?)

#5. The AP ministry finds serving gur with tea instead of sugar as the only wholly undeniable proof of corruption.
(Read As: Much of the country is unknowingly corrupt)

#6. Sports story editors must inform the photography department of their stories at the earliest. Only photographs with 'interesting' positions will do.
(Read As: Not so sure myself.)

There were many more interesting instances that I cannot share for fear of my boss stumbling on to this link from my work bench. Don't worry though, I'll be putting them up as soon as I can run down to office and delete the browsing history :D

#Lesson for today: If you don't check on your ability to love every now and then, you may just forget how to.