My online social life is now all of two years old. I believe a cake of some sort is on the cards. Sadly, two years and the subtelities of Social Networking still escape me. The following conversation with a friend might shed some light on this:
Me: Check your wall! Check your wall!
Friend: Gimme sec

Me: NO! NOW!
Friend: i wil.
Friend: die.

Friend: wth?!?!
Me: Kya?
Friend: Dude, u dun ask fer my snail mail onlyn, ttly agnst onlyn etiquette.
Me: Whaa? Serious?
Friend: Duh. n writin in caps iz jus yelln at me.
Me: i was excited.
Friend: oh gawd! n y r u stil writin in full formz? u gotta shorten it.
Me: I always write in full
Friend: *geek*
Me: Why does that make me a geek?
Friend: it also maks u a noob.
Me: what the hell's that?

As if painfully obvious, in one sentence I did manage to break three rules of internet etiquette without quite realizing how. Now this was just a few months ago and even though I have improved to a marginal extent, I continue to break newer rules everyday. You can't really blame that on me, since newer rules keep popping up every freakkin day! What's a girl to do?

#Lesson for today: I can't catch up with Social Networking. I'd rather be a noob.


Laugh please

One of the finer dialogues in movies:

"Sanka, you dead?"
"Ya maaan"

#Lesson for today: I'm random and retarded in a very normal way. Learn to love me.


Reasons why you can learn to hate Facebook

1. The home page has feeds titled:
"So-and-so took the quiz 'How Good Are You In Bed".

2. You get random 'Fraandship' requests here as well. I shit you not, even I thought FB was safe.

3. You open the bumper stickers application only to find Edward *Retard-o* Cullen clutching what seems to be his imaginary 'thing' and pointing it at you.

4. You also find biatches who thought the above was cool.

5. People who you successfully avoid every where else corner you on FB chat before you can shut it.

6. FB makes me fail in examinations.

7. The Disgustingtons literally live on FB.

#Lesson for today: I shall not be leaving FB anytime soon, but if I am inclined to do so one day you would know why.


Q. Why is our government (supposedly) a big happy family?

Because the mommy and the daddy fight all the time so that neither loses face in front of the kids. The mommy and kids then bitch and backstab, later with the daddy as well. The daddy and mommy talk of divorce. Then the kids will sit together and bitch and hatch incessant plans that will only rock the parent's boat but not really throw them overboard. The kids will then be punished. Mommy and Daddy fight it out in a trust vote, or leave the other to crash before making up again.

Here, the "relatives" usually start to interfere, and are rudely quietened. Everything is literally blown apart till the Family Picnic arrives, when to make sure that the neighbours don't spread rumours, the family shows up smiling and loving. The outsiders pretend not to notice the ugly bruises and undercurrents of hate.

Family: UPA / NDA alliance
Family Picnic: General Elections
Mommy: Congress / BJP
Daddy: CPI(M) / AIADMK
Kids & Relatives: RJD, Samajwadi Party, Bahujan Samaj Party/ Shiv Sena, Janata Dal, Trinamool Congress
Neighbours: Indian Janta
Outsiders: Other countries, namely Pakistan and USA.

#Lesson for today: This is the story of every family, sadly sometimes even mine.



I Kicked Exam Ass.

That is all.

#Lesson for today: I Kick Exam Ass. To Learn more, as.lemonlime@gmail.com



Well well. Isn't this just dandy?
Somebody totally stole my blog.

And by stealing, I mean they copied the whole idea. From the header to the description to omfg, the way I. Sign. Out. That was my piece de resistance. It took me like a few days of thinking to make this one a bit different to what people who read my earlier blog are used to. And they just go and rip it all off.

I mean, COME ON! Don't you possess like a teensy weensy grain of creativity at all? No brains? Nothing in that lil dumbass head of yours?? You. Disgust. ME!!! I feel like slapping an intellectual property rights case on you right now!

You scum sucking, thieving, idea laundering, bitch of a dirtbag. I thought you were my friend.

#Lesson for today: Don't even think about stealing something that belongs to me. I will take you down, bitch!


How I Met Your Mother

So, HIMYM is just awesome. It has no shame, just another awesomeness. It's like the next FRIENDS. And I am steadfastedly in love with it.

Who cares if Barney is a womanizer? He's legenDARY and he wears a suit! Robin, she has 5 dogs. Yeah, i love her already. Marshall and Lily. So soppy and yet so awwww.

And Ted Mosby. I would want a Ted Mosby. I like Ted. Ted is well, TED!

And the whole show, the quotes, the everything.

It's like, exactly how I felt when I started with Friends.

#Lesson for today: I stopped being just me, and started being awesome me instead. True Story.