Noooo. Lemons and green text don't go together well. Too bright and flashy.
The picture is too sad. Dead almost. Let's get a new one.
Not the best design, but it'll have to do. I wonder what the fascination for lemons is about..
Meanwhile, Lemon Girl is shitting in her pants.
Dad then calls Lemon Girl.
Lemon Girl prepares to bid the internet, mobile phone and all else that loved her goodbye.
Lemon Girl Says: Yes Dad? What about the lemons?
Lemon Girl's Dad: I just discovered
Lemon Girl (cutting in): I can explain.
Lemon Girl's Dad: You can? Good. Because these new posters for the office walls look very badly designed to me. Is it new-age art or something?
Lemon Girl develops a look of permanent incredulity on her face.
You were and will be one of my closest friends.
I still think you’re insanely annoying.
Please do not put me in a funk with your sweet talks.
There is no future for us.
Oh what did you say? Yes indeed, I would like to make out.
#Lesson for today: Oh well. Sometimes we never learn.
(My absence was because Blogger is far too important to sort out blog malfunctions for moi.)
Realizing, that you have unknowingly worn a mask of impenetrable happiness for so long that people feel you talk about problems only to make your friends feel like they are not alone in sadness. Being proud, of having unwittingly fulfilled the one dream your parents had for you. And then wanting to rebel and disillusion them.
Alcohol is not meant for everybody. Especially those who cocoon themselves up to a point that they forget what they were hiding from.
#Lesson for today: I can handle my alcohol and my shit without keeping myself bottled up. It's apparently a skill.
When men and dogs go out and have riotous love affairs with women, no one raises an eyebrow. It's expected of them, is it not? That they shall forever be casanova's and reign o'er the world of us women with power?
And when women have nothing more than a casual chat with another man/dog, we are questioned and sniffed with an air of hurt and sorrow that can surpass Macbeth. The eccentricity of it all. When shall it end?
#Lesson for today: Don't go for those puppy eyes. They're very clever.
Me and father are very environmentally conscious and off late having been making attempts to reduce the carbon footprint and conserve water. We also donate a small sum towards animal conservation; GreenPeace et al. Mother's daily water consumption could save a decent hand holding in Vidarbha from drought. I shit you not. The woman simply dumps water like it was garbage. Not to mention the amount of plastic bottles she leaves in the trail behind her. And if we stopped her purchases of clothes each month, we could in effect donate a lot more to charity than we are at the moment.
But being the classist, elitist, uncaring, unconcerned, "I-Shall-Live-In-My-Shell" person that she has become, our fights will continue for many more years to come.
#Lesson for today: Parents. Selfish, Socially Unaware, Irresponsible. And then they have the nerve to tell us off.
#Lesson for today: I'm starting to accept my friend's conclusion that I am an evil thing.
Imagine, its wings now lay broken and it bleeds away all it had accumulated in the name of life. It opens its mouth to speak but only broken rattles escape, reminiscent of the ghost from Grudge. Grim Reaper arrives, counting down the last minutes of life as a frenzied panic erupts in the heart of the moth. The realization of death is not easy to bear.
Imagine it gulping for air and softly dying, losing the precious shine from eyes, one Microsoft word page at a time. Imagine, the cruel world laughing at its feeble attempts to wake up and live. One last time, struggle to live.
Now imagine, that little moth is me doing research.
He'll also somehow manage to convey the fact that he will walk away with the merchandize for free, in case stipulated terms and conditions are not met. In most cases, you can be sure to meet the manager of the store. He made the CCD chap regret the day he filled out an application form for the job position. I'm past the point of getting embarrassed; I end up giggling hysterically and passing sympathetic looks to the other person.
And once all the terrorizing is over, we get great deals and freebies. He's fun.
#Lesson for today: My papa can be awesome.
And then I saw Ravi Behl being turned on and suitably seduced by the ugliest of them village-not-so-belles.
I may never be able to regain my ability to be sexually excited again.
#Lesson for today: Avoid such movies. They ruin sex lives.
Bloody Noise. Bloody Pollution. Bloody Irritating TV Specials.
I am cranky every single Diwali and have not broken the tradition this year. I shall be extremely thankful when this entire festivity ends. I miss pathos and general suffering. Even the terrorists ditched me this time around.
Still, I'll be nice for once.
Hope all of you have a wonderful day.
[x] Fallen in Love with Mr. Darcy again
[x] Done something inexplicably stupid
[x] Develop my own brand of humour and quirk
[x] Grossed 200 people out with a single sentence
[x] Had a "I was so close to Death" story
[x] Had a 'when I was your age' conversation with somebody two years younger to me
[x] Been obsessed with random pop culture
[x] Ripped apart boy band posters
[x] Randomly mutilate my eyebrows
[x] Fallen in Love
[x] Burnt somebody's hair
[x] Etch out a day-to-day existence on acerbic wit, satirical humour and higher intellect. (xkcd, cyanide & happiness, daisy owl and batman)
[x] Quoted internet humour
[x] Done/Watched something nerdy (Star Trek, Halo 3)
[x] Played on an Xbox 360 and PSP
[x] Looked simply stop-eating-food-gorgeous.
[x] Done something so girly that testosterone ran away screaming from my body
[ ] Being awarded the Nobel.
Sigh, I feel like such a failure. But, if they can give to Obama then I wonder.
#Lesson for today: There is always that one thing in life you can't achieve in time. Acceptance comes gradually.
As the rain works its way down my hair, I recall with clarity the day. Our first kiss, the first embrace after what seems like forever. The first admission of reality. This silence has not been easy on either of us. You chide me for what I start to explain, you know all of it already. I come as no surprise, just relief. Welcome peace and relief.
With the dance of the morning rays comes a new problem for us. She still exists, even if miles away. You stand nearer than before but I choose to blur your face. You don't take to being forgotten kindly. We smile, we laugh and we pretend like everything is the same as it was before. The only difference is that once we desired and now it has been reduced to an I. You'll always have her by your side while I love from afar, playing back the moments in my mind.
No my darling, it wasn't a mistake. You were conscious of every movement of the wind. Me of my place right by your side. It was meant to be, I'd once announced. How restless you had been. A lover, a friend, a spare soul sometimes even. But now, months have passed. Kisses forgotten, languid love songs exchanged and hummed into the night. Flirtatious giggles have dissolved in a sudden, singular tear.
Today I decide to let you go. Make sure you never mean more to me than my best friend, no strings attached.
And today you show me why you claim to be mean. You make it impossible to give it up. You refuse to be given up.
~ sarcastic natures
~ commitment issues
~ 'a quality' that makes everybody perceive them as gay and
~ careless, rude, self-effacing yet charming demeanours.
(or Chandler Bing, Jane Austen/Bronte Sisters/Georgette Heyer's male characters and Oscar Wilde)
Off late, this has been extended to serial killers based in Miami, Florida.
There, can I have my perfect man now?
#Lesson for today: Yes, mother was perfectly right in being extremely worried about my taste in men.
After being subjected to the most moronic people possible in my department and the cynical stylings of many close friends, I can declare that our fest is over. O-V-E-R.
Now I can relax, lay waste to all the banners and spare posters and most importantly, start living on diet of something other than chole bature and momos. My sudden sugar and caffeine cravings have subsided. I no longer wake up in cold sweat, having dreamt of goblins eating ice creams on Farooque Shaikh's head. Although, that would have been an apt sight, considering all the money he made us spend. I vow, with all of you regular readers as my witness that when I become famous, I shall not charge educational institutions for a plane ticket. Or at the very least, wear a rather large sun bonnet and be content to sign autographs throughout the flight.
#Lesson for today: Let loose the goblins.
A Hate Mail.
Ain't it awesome?
Now that I have finally finished gloating, I can proudly say that I am getting hate mails from people in my department. Most of them regarding the fest, taking place soon. The rest, overtly personal and written in some really bad English. Makes me wonder what'll happen to the college magazine. *Wink Wink*.
Im feeling particularly happy as of now and am thinking of breaking my rule about not mentioning names on the blog. I'll take a poll. If three people say yes, I'll post the mail here. As an added bonus, the reply I sent as well. Or if that seems far too bitchy, I could just forward it your email. Now, wouldn't that be fun?
#Lesson for today: If you're used to being a pampered princess at home, don't expect the same shyt from me.
I may not have bought in any sponsorships as such, but I sure am working my ass off when it comes to moral support and thumbs up for all.
I will lose my precious l'il mind in all this publicity and poster business. Especially since I feel lazy.
And when boredom strikes, the devil comes out to play. *Evil Grin*
#Lesson for today: Chardonny Semillion, Yum Yum!
Now, I've heard that some people also have chronic amnesia for a certain type of task. No matter how many times you explain it to them, they'll still manage to fuck it up. Not that it's ever their fault, y'know. Their brains simply can't take all this information and use it. Like the way you're never going to use all that crap you mugged up for the final exams.
Now, let's see somebody combine these two things together and what will you get? In simple terms: Me.
As my department teachers/presidents/the population in general starts to trust me enough with shit loads of work, they realize that I can't do something right beyond three instructions. You'll be lucky I did some part of the third instruction at all. I won't cite chronic amnesia as an excuse. I think it's a mix of the two conditions stated above. I can't help it, I happen to have a very imaginative and restless mind.
#Lesson for today: Someday hopefully, people will start instructing me in pairs. Till then, it's your headache. I'll just smile and go with the (by now forgotten) flow.
What are they doing to you?
Department Fest! Department Fest!
It'ssss not your faultttt!
They keep saying you're the best,
You're obviously not their favourite fest
You make me work my ass off everyday
I could have gotten thinner some other way
Department Fest! Department Fest!
What are they doing to you?
Department Fest! Department Fest!
It'ssss not your faultttt!
#Lesson for today: Im shit tired of this fest work. I should have retired when I was young.
To start with, Himachal University looks like a dream lost in the mist. The architecture is brilliant and so is their library. The place is a photographer’s dream come true. Even if we did just spend an hour there, it’s been coming back to me everyday with the aura of a dead lover who will not be forgotten. The staircases are especially ancient looking, with many a couple writing an eternal saga on its steps.
Moving on from the University was hard, but it had to be done. Following that, we decided to take an impromptu trek without informing anybody in the hotel. Absurd as that was, considering my fear of heights and clumsy nature, the feeling of freedom was unmistakable. Even the mushroom we spent some 10 minutes photographing, had an air of carelessness to it. All signs of the uncluttered and beautiful mountain life, said the Father who blessed me and two other friends. We met him in a small, one room church hidden amongst the money registers of Mall Road. Run entirely on donations, the small prayer we attended has changed some part of me forever.
Mall Road was another surprise. In some four years, it’s gone from being a fierce cottage industry case review for the hills to just another brand engulfed market. Not surprisingly, the best time there came from what our guide declared to be “useless parts of the market”. After all, we are the type of kids who’ll never listen to given reason. Lower Bazaar and Indian Coffee House live on in our taste buds. While the wood market presented some unique memories to boot.
So maybe Solan wasn’t at its best but the “tandoori” Manchurian still beats all. More than anything, Shimla was a testament to the stark difference between us and them. We never referred to ourselves as a ‘group’ and we still won’t. We’ve seen that being a group has more pitfalls than love in it and to be honest, we can live without that tag. I believe we were always people who liked each others company and were closer to some over others. We remain till date, the same. No compromises made. And in the small hotel room, we learnt the good, the bad and the value of that.
#Lesson for today: Cheers to the place that taught us so much. With love, to Shimla.
I promise a long and rambling post about travelling soon. Soon being whenever I can sit straight at the laptop for longer than fifteen minutes.
I'm back from the running away process. I feel much better, catharsis happened in a way. I shall ramble long and hard about Shimla very soon. As of now, I'm recovering from a not-so-swine-flu.
But more than anything right now, thank you God, for leading me to that church. Some miracles happened there in those brief moments.
Muaah! To all. :)
But by the time I get around to typing something, my anger and frustration has given way to an incessant tiredness of mind. Mother & Father are at it again, after having humiliated me in front of some five hundred people.
I'm going away soon for some respite. I need it. I may not be coming back. But don't worry, I won't leave without a goodbye.
#Lesson for today: Life is shitty.
But I leave it far coz I can't fake it.
Do I need to shout out for mercy
Can't you just come and shoot me?
When very last sensation of pain is near
Then tell me there is nothing to fear.
Inked blotches on the page of life
As if there was something to hide.
Thrills me to be torn apart and then
The serenity of being whole again.
Does life come with pain or happiness
Juxtaposing a smile with sadness.
Yes, I still have a bad toothache. It hurts like all hell put together. And the painkillers have me doped up & hallucinating. Enough to make me write poetry like that. It's vaguely like Alternative Grunge. I don't know the the shit I wrote, but if it makes sense to you then more power to ya! Enjoy and tell me if you get a word.
#Lesson for today: Teeth.Can.Hurt. Owwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!
You still blow me away with those eyes of yours. Every time I enter a room, I know you'll be there looking at me. With that perfect innocent expression once again. It doesn't escape my notice y'know, I can tell you've done something wrong. I still forgive you. Your eyes still make me love.
I want it to be the last time that your butterfly kisses sway me over. The touch of your hair makes me happy, I hate it and I love you more. I want it to be the last time that I snuggle up to you but you move away. Unconsciously conscious of my lightest touch.
I love the way you worry when I'm home late from college. You pretend not to care, but I can see you missed me when I'm not around for that long. You hate the way I sing and the way I make you waltz with me. Don't think I can't see the look in your eyes when I clear my throat even. Yes, you make me crazy in love and crazier still.
You don't want me to talk for too long on the phone with my friends. They can hear your mumbling grudges. They say nothing. I tell them, you're the cutest. You are, you are the best there ever could be. For without you, I can't be happy for long. I miss you much. Even though you're here, you can be so far away.
For without you my dog, my lowve, I am not the quintessential dog lover that I am known to be.
(P.S. No boy-friends, boyfriends or boys in general would ever make go eloquent and love-lorn like that)
#Lesson for today: I A.D.O.R.E. my dog. He's the best.
Mumma told me I'm scary. Why?
Apparently last night I was talking in my sleep again and muttering something about how I am a much better actress than Helena Bonham Carter. And I was doing all of this in an old-British-lady accent. With the over pronounced 'you' and everything.
Funny, I didn't even know I resented Carter.
#Lesson for today: Sleep more, since you can be much better than Helena Bonham Carter that ways.
Not that it needs any form of defence.
Karma works, it exists. I don't say that simply because I don't want to admit that I am responsible directly for all that does not go right for me. You can see it happening. Let's the take the example of 4 countries how their Karma is working in overdrive.
1. The USA
They had everything going right for them till they decided to bomb Japan and ruin Vietnam. They tried to interfere where they didn't belong and forgot that they maybe a superpower but they are still a very young country. Almost like a small child who wants too much. Post 2000, they have had every kind of bad karma upon them. Just when they thought it's over, the Iraq war came back to haunt them via recession. Maybe now, USA just might learn.
They were imperialists who were not ready to let the world be. They brought on a lot of wars and a lot of sadness to many. They were defeated many times over. Their entire history has been a Karmic war. They have suffered as much as they have made others suffer. Britain is now a shadow of what it used to be and invariably less happy than its European counterparts.
We've led a good life and then a bad life. We've been on a roller coaster of luck. At the end of it all, we are still boorish and uncultured but we spit at those who remind us of what goes on inside our homes. Indian students being attacked in Australia, I call that Karma for being such a louts and low life's when dealing with the North Easterners and foreigners.
A few bad decisions made by one power hungry man has led to their complete destruction. There is civil strife and terrorists. Allegations and shame faced admissions. There is death to those who least deserve it. It is their Karma but I still cannot help wonder if it isn't simply the bad wishes of those who live across their border.
To those who might be wondering, I'm not big into Karma or anything. This just kind of struck me on a long drive back home.
#Lesson for today: Maybe, just maybe the things you will do can come back to you. Why take a chance?
I have developed a nervous tic coz of the never ending fear of being caught doing something absolutely unproductive by the boss man. Not that they would kick me out or sacrifice me to the goat gods if they did catch me. I lack the ability to fully process even the simplest of instructions. If it's a two step process, be sure I shall forget one. If it's just the one step, I'll forget the whole thing. Adding to that, Logic is a bully and continually kicks my ass.
It's actually interesting to see the look on my boss's face when he realized I have goofed something again, in face of tremendous odds. It's like, lightning striking at the same place, process, person etc, a few times now. I keep no less than five windows open, with at least two spreadsheets and one company-website-related page. And then I fall into a music-coma when they are calling me. Makes not for a good impression, I can tell you that.
I wonder if home made brownies and some cake would impress them…
#Lesson for today: Note to Lemon Girl – WORK instead of writing posts cribbing about work
I won't say its not fun because it is actually good fun for an office job. But it's not my kinda job. To be honest, my kinda job is strictly being given creative freedom to pursue what ever the heck I want, which is why I had my sights set on being a columnist for so long. A little more than a week at the job, people seem to recognize me. I suppose that is a good thing. Im not exactly the best at making new friends. I wait for the misfits to gravitate towards me. But I digress.
Im doing well here, with funny bosses and PMS-prone colleagues. For the life of me, I don't understand exactly why I feel my boss thinks I'm a dodo. Maybe it has something to do with the deer-in-headlights look I get when he comes calling. He wears a nice deodorant though. Makes it nice having him stand above my head. Maybe I'm crushing on him. Then again, that's normal.
#Lesson for today: My boss and all other bosses luuurrrrvvvveee Spreadsheets. Learn Them!
Her: Dekha jo tujhe yaar, dil mein baji guitar
Me: Aap jaisa koi meri zindagi mein aaye, toh baat ban jaye.. oh ho ho ho.. Baat ban jaye..
Her: Hum bane, tum bane, ek duje ke liye!
Me: Teri gali vich aake, patiala peg lagake, deewani main pagal main talli ho gayi.. Main talli, main talli, main talli ho gayi..
Her: Mere bhole baalam, mere pyaare baalam.. Mera jeevan tere bina, o mere piya.. Hai woh diya jisme tel naa ho!!
Me: Raat baaki.. Baat baaki.. Hona hai jo.. Ho jaane dooooooo..
Her: Raat akeli hai, bujh gaye diya.. Aake mere paas, baahon mein mere.. Jo bhi chaahe kahiye, jo bhi chaahiye kahiye..!!
Me: Oh mummy mummy, oh daddy daddy. Oh mummy daddy, ho jayo ready. Jisse meri shaadi hogi, aaj maine woh ladki dhoond li hai!!
Over the course of days, we went from classics, to horrendous remixes to classic songs that we remixed ourselves. If big brother is indeed monitoring our conversations, he has probably considered rendering us incommunicado many a times.
#Lesson for today: Crass lyrics from govinda/mithun da songs are the best for good times.
We graduated to ODI's. Faster, funner and with the added ability for us to distinguish between the teams. Though, I presume that's simply because colour televisions became all the rage.
After many many years of decreasing attention spans and IQ levels, we received with much pomp & splendor, the form of Twenty-Twenty Cricket. Only three hours required as compared to the laborious 7 otherwise. Apparently watching Football, only an hour and a half long is out of the question.
And give it 10 more years and we'll simply have the Coin Toss Cricket! Buuutt. It needs to be interesting, right? Thus the team will consist of:
1. The Captain
2. A weather guy, to ensure that the winds are in favour.
3. A statistician, to point out the law of averages.
4. A cynic, to point out Murphy's Law.
5. A body-builder, to make sure the captain's thumb is in good flicking order.
6. A scientist, to make sure the aerodynamics of the stadium are just right.
7. A video - analyst, to explain in Slo-Mo what went wrong.
8. A voo-doo person cum coin collecter, to make sure the coin is well prepared.
#Lesson for today: Yes, I don't like 20-20 cricket all that much, I'm still rooting for the ODI's.
1. Me listening to Gangsta' Rap by someone known as Pitbull
2. Me developing a parallel love-hate relationship with Facebook. I was just gushing about it to my facebook-challenged friend a few days before. I believe this has something to do with the fact that every five seconds it has been updating itself with the same feeds. My homepage resembles a gramophone with the pin stuck.
3. Me being good at poker. I suck at pulling bluffs, keeping money with me is not a strong point and I still don't know what a royal flush is. I have a sneaking suspicion it's nothing more than the Queen's jewel-encrusted Flush.
4. Bob Dylan to have gotten even better than ever before with his latest album.
5. The Bro Code.
6. Sex while windsurfing. Thanks for ruining my mental imagery of water sports as merely water sports, Enrique. I'll be there when you come to India, bottle of acid in hand.
#Lesson for today: Delhi is hot. Very hot.
For all those who missed me (:D), college holidays started and my brains went into a temporary decline. After two weeks of lolling around on the bed and drooling on the pillow, I think they've jump started right back. Thank you Subnormality, you are the baap of all comics.
On a different note, I realized exactly why wearing tight jeans and off-shoulder tops combined with dating a single person is so against Indian Culture. All those Sena people were so right.
While watching the video for "Jiya Jale" last night, I figured, So this is what Indian Culture is all about!! You wear extremely short blouses that barely contain your breasts, showing off your midriff to all and sundry. You don't wear tight jeans, you wear tiny shorts that cling to you after you have been skinny dipping in water with an equally naked SRK and about twenty other men. And also, you dance in waterfalls while those twenty men leer at you and then you proceed to shamelessly dry hump SRK in the water. All this time, SRK is in love with your sister or something and yet continues to dry hump you, this time amidst twenty under clad women.
Then of course, you could be an item girl. You are paid to gyrate on the silver screen in an open courtyard. But this is all acceptable as long as you are not in a pub or anything. Because drinking desi daaru in front of a collection of leering louts is more cultured than drinking cocktails with your boyfriend. As is obvious, those drunk louts are more gentlemanly than your average sweet city boy can be. This girls and boys, is the true Indian Culture. Learn to appreciate it.
#Lesson for today: Gyrating shamelessly isn't against our culture. Merely dancing peacefully, is.
#Lesson for today: I actually thought that I'm no longer a full-on cynic. Sad.
Me: Check your wall! Check your wall!
Friend: Gimme sec
Me: NO! NOW!
Friend: i wil.
Me: NOW MEANS NOW
Friend: Dude, u dun ask fer my snail mail onlyn, ttly agnst onlyn etiquette.
Me: Whaa? Serious?
Friend: Duh. n writin in caps iz jus yelln at me.
Me: i was excited.
Friend: oh gawd! n y r u stil writin in full formz? u gotta shorten it.
Me: I always write in full
Me: Why does that make me a geek?
Friend: it also maks u a noob.
Me: what the hell's that?
As if painfully obvious, in one sentence I did manage to break three rules of internet etiquette without quite realizing how. Now this was just a few months ago and even though I have improved to a marginal extent, I continue to break newer rules everyday. You can't really blame that on me, since newer rules keep popping up every freakkin day! What's a girl to do?
#Lesson for today: I can't catch up with Social Networking. I'd rather be a noob.
"So-and-so took the quiz 'How Good Are You In Bed".
2. You get random 'Fraandship' requests here as well. I shit you not, even I thought FB was safe.
3. You open the bumper stickers application only to find Edward *Retard-o* Cullen clutching what seems to be his imaginary 'thing' and pointing it at you.
4. You also find biatches who thought the above was cool.
5. People who you successfully avoid every where else corner you on FB chat before you can shut it.
6. FB makes me fail in examinations.
7. The Disgustingtons literally live on FB.
#Lesson for today: I shall not be leaving FB anytime soon, but if I am inclined to do so one day you would know why.
Because the mommy and the daddy fight all the time so that neither loses face in front of the kids. The mommy and kids then bitch and backstab, later with the daddy as well. The daddy and mommy talk of divorce. Then the kids will sit together and bitch and hatch incessant plans that will only rock the parent's boat but not really throw them overboard. The kids will then be punished. Mommy and Daddy fight it out in a trust vote, or leave the other to crash before making up again.
Here, the "relatives" usually start to interfere, and are rudely quietened. Everything is literally blown apart till the Family Picnic arrives, when to make sure that the neighbours don't spread rumours, the family shows up smiling and loving. The outsiders pretend not to notice the ugly bruises and undercurrents of hate.
Family: UPA / NDA alliance
Family Picnic: General Elections
Mommy: Congress / BJP
Daddy: CPI(M) / AIADMK
Kids & Relatives: RJD, Samajwadi Party, Bahujan Samaj Party/ Shiv Sena, Janata Dal, Trinamool Congress
Neighbours: Indian Janta
Outsiders: Other countries, namely Pakistan and USA.
#Lesson for today: This is the story of every family, sadly sometimes even mine.
I mean, COME ON! Don't you possess like a teensy weensy grain of creativity at all? No brains? Nothing in that lil dumbass head of yours?? You. Disgust. ME!!! I feel like slapping an intellectual property rights case on you right now!
You scum sucking, thieving, idea laundering, bitch of a dirtbag. I thought you were my friend.
Who cares if Barney is a womanizer? He's legenDARY and he wears a suit! Robin, she has 5 dogs. Yeah, i love her already. Marshall and Lily. So soppy and yet so awwww.
And Ted Mosby. I would want a Ted Mosby. I like Ted. Ted is well, TED!
And the whole show, the quotes, the everything.
It's like, exactly how I felt when I started with Friends.
#Lesson for today: I stopped being just me, and started being awesome me instead. True Story.
~ The bride falls asleep and refuses to wake up, making the wedding two hours late.
~ You leave the rings back at the groom's house and then drive like maniacs to get them.
~ The priest sneezes really hard right in the middle of the vows.
~ There is a big bee in the flower bouquet.
~ Everybody, including the bride is in jeans.
~ You leave the church after the wedding is done and meet some six hours later for lunch.
~ You are so excited about getting married, that you forget to pick up your mother from home.
This is the kind of wedding I went through today. Being the maid of honour and the "planner" for the whole gala, anything right or wrong that happened totally reflected on me. But since everybody in attendence knew what the bride and groom were like, they didn't exactly care and went along with all the fiasco's. From shy friends to drunk younger brothers, I had some fun company today, not to mention my dog, the bride's cat and the couple's new little puppy.
To Tatiyana and Ashish, love you both.
To Yash, stay away! :)
To Aaron, stop being so shy! <3
#Lesson for today: Happy couples are those who can smile through everything going wrong and still say, "that's so US!"
Want to convert it into a real time production?
Or atleast get someone to read it?
Mail it to me, I seem to be out of ideas.
And a manhole with a cover, if possible.
#Lessons for today: Things written at 2 in the morn, while very sleepy NEVER come out as great as you think they have.
I seem to have been spending a lot of time looking for new blogger templates. The point of this is still unclear to me, since I really love the simple tone of this blog and the other one already has a lovable scheme. Presumably, I have nothing better to do, which isnt exactly true because I have exams coming up and studying for them is a prioritized option. Not that I pay such overwhelming attention to my priorities these days.
And if anybody's got the time, do listen to Casanova In Hell, by the Pet Shop Boys. It'll have you rolling on the floor.
#Lesson for today: None really, I'm kinda off lessons for the moment.
For starters, I tried to get rid of my gut-wrenching fear of heights and have almost succeeded. I hope to report something awesome soon, in that area. We also got into figurative fist fights, literal goof ups and many many piss-offs. There were scoldings and reprimands and many times I wanted to bang my head against the wall. Or do the same to the fucking stupid talkback!
The cam crew sucked. They got thrown out. We rocked. We were in. Nothing went right. Gosh, did I have fun smirking though. Can't help it people, I am a mean, sadistic girl at the end of the day. I am also a fair, just and fairly judgmental person. Don't hold it against me, I'm only human. I hated some people today. I adored others. I basically lost a lot of hope in humankind today. Mabe we will soon turn into an Idiocracy.
#Lesson for today: If they don't know how to work in a studio, their face shows the fear. Grab, bite and take the lion's share.
And on a totally unrelated thought, my best friend absolutely loves coffee!
#Lesson for today: Know your best friend's needs and likes.
There, I feel all happy now. I no longer feel like becoming a machete yielding psycho.
#Lesson for today : Practice you Poker Face. You never know where it helps.
On one side, there comes the problem of not having been absolutely honest with a friend and that is driving me CRAZY because lying to friends is not something I can do with ease. On the other, there is a rather freakking annoying question buzzing in my head about certain people and their behaviour which is again driving me up the wall. I am up the wall and crazy, which is not doing much for my head rush really. I am sincerely hoping that talking about it and venting to somebody else will help and she agrees with me on most of the things that irk me.
This is confusing. I've never doubted stuff like this before. People havn't given me reasons to either. And now that they do, it's tough to figure it all out.
#Lesson for today: I will never lie to a friend, even the cracking of their voice fills me with unavoidable and inescapable guilt.
To those who don't know what the fuck is going on, my bestie is on a trip out of town, and since it'll send her mobile bill through the roof if I call, I'm not. Because of which, I am really missing her and this is someone I rarely spend a day without texting atleast once. I'm kind of in a tizzy now that she isn't here. There's so much to tell her and so much to ask and so many things to discuss about and i have no-one to do it with. It's been 5 days and I feel like death has come upon me. I'm truly bored. It's not like this is something that's never happened before coz she did go for a month before but I had my other bestie at that time but she's busy to at the moment so pulling my hair out seems like a good idea right now.
#Lesson for today: Tag along with friends you can't do without. Or get really drunk and pass out.
#Lesson for today : If I ever tell you that my head hurts and I can't sleep, dont open your mouth. EVER.
What are we, her freaking slaves?
She's also made me deaf, to all sorts of scolding, threats, punishments, warning, reprimands etc etc. Which works out interestingly, since now I've become mother-deaf. I honestly hear maybe 1 word out of 20 that she says, and that's on a good day. Rest, her screaming, shouting, threat, bullying blah blah blah don't even resonate. She's spent 18 years of my life and close to all of her's shouting at someone, so you'd think it's time she realized it ain't gonna work. I really have to stop myself from smirking when she says "you can't behave like this with me when even when you're 30" and crap. What makes her think I in any way of form will actually put up with any of her shyt when I'm 30? It's like, dude, you are not going to be the boss me of me forever. You can't stop me from living life when I get a job. I'm simply counting down the years till I'm financially independent and that's my one-way ticket out of here.
Don't get me wrong here, I don't hate my mother or anything. On the contrary, I love her dearly and she matters the most to me. It's just that she thinks she's God and so on and I can't take her crap. If the love has to remain, then I need to be out of the house. We get along best through SMS, when she can't overwork her puny brain creating "tones" that I use when I lay out my well defined plans to misbehave.
#Lesson for today: Teacher's teach you how to be parent-deaf. Excellent.
After the little time spent on the site, I can say that digi-cams and mobile cameras don't really give the best feel. After all, it is pretty difficult to achieve the perfect blurring action with them and heaven knows how much I've tried. My dog is testament to that. Also, while zooming in on a subject, the background really matters. There are so many beautiful photographs spoiled just coz of a bad background. And there are some masterpieces that leave you wondering why you couldn't have been born in a more picturesque place, such as this one.
Most of the photographers there make me feel so curious and humbled and so damn impatient that I wanna break the bank, rush to the nearest store and buy a beautiful camera and loads of reel and go click-crazy. The somewhat-not-so-crazy person inside me tut's at the thought of this and stops me.
And Happy Republic Day!
#Lesson for today: Go photograph! It's an amazing thing to know.
I have a cold. A very bad cold and an intriguing one at that since there's every possibility that I got it by texting my friend. I don't know how we do it. But we do. In our history of five years together, we've always had colds at the same time irrespective of whether we were actually near each other or not. For god's sake, we'd be the only two girls having colds in summer! Right now, every second is a struggle to breathe through my nose and breathing through my mouth means a very very rough and dry day tomorrow. I won't be able to speak, and that sucks.
To all those yet to be discovered faithful readers of my blog, try listening to Ray Barretto and his Latin Jazz music. If any part of you likes to dance, or be sexy, or just jazz, you will fall in love! He's awesome and to think his songs are not so easily available for downloads. That is pure evil, I swear! But better news, most of his songs are available on youtube. Acid for example, takes my heart into a far far land of love and dance. Especially since I now want to marry Pasha from So you think you can dance. I know I'm kinda behind on the seasons, but we just can't do much. AXN will show, the way it wants to.
#Lesson for today: Be aware, Be safe. Cold is a Textually Transmitted Disease
Okie, 20 minutes after struggling with that stupid site, I freaking give up!
#Lesson for today: Wordpress est Shyt.
Hiro Killed Ando!
And I just read the whole of the forthcoming season of Heroes on Wiki and totally fighting back the impulse to download all of the season right now and have a full day marathon! It's getting more and more confusing by the episode, takes me a full hour to understand what I saw after I see it. Youtubing (izzat a verb?) roadies at the moment, apparently boys got kicked in their balls in the last show. I must say, for a guy, Raghu sure does hate the balls of other men. :P
Today, I learnt something of great entertainment. How to write (or rather criticize) a film review. Its a hopeless job at first, since you're bound to forget something or the other, but it grows on you (somewhat like a wart) and you feel elated to be better than the egg-headed critics in certain newspapers and magazines. Which, in all possibility you aint, but still it's FUN!
#Lesson for today: None, really. Do I havta learn something everyday?
The singer, John Mayer has pretty much lost hope in all of the current mankind that controls the world at the moment. He's also lost hope in his friends/family/whatever to step up and take charge. Since "we keep on waiting, waiting on the world to change". At the same time, he's rather optimistic about having a great future, neighbours being neighbourly and puppies and kittens falling from the sky into the little hands of Tiny Tim's. (Yes, that's made up!) But how does he think thats ever gonna happen? He's the one that says that he and his friends can't really do much. Confused soul I tell you.
And the lemon tree got a new citrus friend today. I moved the orange tree next to it and they look so pretty together.
#Lesson for today: Keep the window open, Peter Pan may just fly in.
Which for those who didn't get it, Keep up the Hope.
The lemon tree finally dropped the bombs today. Six round, pristine, zesty, yellow lemons. I am really proud of it. Don't know any other tree in the area that'll be equaling the feat for years to come. Or maybe I'm just a really proud tree person. :D
#Lesson 2 for today: Never watch a scary movie alone at 2 in the morn, else you'll be looking like a ghost yourself for the next few days.
Life's good, Life's fun and I'm so happy since this is a diary that my mum can't read!
New day, New year, New blog. A personal one, just to crib, whine, be lame and throw sarcastic shit at people.
#Lesson 1: Never tell your family about your blog, unless its one of those "iInspire" ones.
About the lemon tree, I happen to have a tree in the garden and somehow in moments of doubt, grave idiocy or general "the sky's falling on my head" moments, I drift to the tree and stare at the lemons till things become a bit clearer to me. I study near the tree, often stand right next to it to laugh at its height (since I'm quite short) and on occassion, prick the lemons with their own thorns (a tit for tat thingy).
That's about it for now, I can hear my phone ringing and it'll be a minor miracle if I find it.