Peering back to the past, I chance upon the memory of a girl sitting with her classmates during a psychology class discussing the relevance of the Five Stages of Grief. By and large, everybody agreed that these stages did exist and were subject to change in their order. We also agreed that it was the loss of a loved one or a major tragedy that caused so.

Coming back to the present, there is one slight flaw in this model that we had all missed out on.

It is not simply the loss of someone cherished or a tragedy that accounts for the stages. So many little things, smaller and seemingly inconsequential in nature bring about bigger torments than one would like to give them credit for. One grieves not only for people. One grieves in equal ways for the loss of purpose, of rationality, of direction, of judgement, of self-control, of belief, of faith and of self-identity. But more than all of that, one may grieve for the loss of peace of the mind.

And then comes the grieving. It starts with Denial, of course. One cannot readily accept it all. Then the Bargaining, in this case. Then starts the long cycle of crushing despair. And then, if you're lucky, you'll find Anger. But anger cannot last long and is soon followed by Acceptance. It comes out of nowhere and overwhelms you with a serenity that makes you wonder at the beauty of even something such as loss.

I have found acceptance. Or at least a version of it.

#Lesson for today: Acceptance is a beautiful thing.


Ice Maiden said...

But even so, the path to acceptance is just so... damn long sometimes.

Lemon Girl said...

Damn long, frustrating and filled with tears.

But it's worth it.

Whuaat? said...

Absolutely worth it. We just have to hang in there, have patience and it'll soon just come to us ..this acceptance. It can be quite a bitch though :|