Ode to sugary delights.

I think I'm going thora sa emo. Black nail polish, dark thoughts and random self-pen-tattooing. Only, I've what, a whole of three black tops with me? And not enough random dark thoughts to cut my wrists. Not to forget a whole packet of mishri and a beautiful moonlit night ahead of me.

What did Urmila sing?
Tanha tanha yahan pe jeena ye koi baat hai?
Koi saathi nahin tera yahaan to ye koi baat hai?
Kisi ko pyaar dede,
Kisi ka pyaar lele,
Is saare zamaane mein yehi pyaari baat hai.

Cute limerick. Just not as powerful as the stories of lightning storms far away. Life is all about looking for newer things now.

Bas main aur meri parchaayi,
Hum chale un raston par,
Jahan mile humein do pal ka saathi,
Do pal ka karavaan hum sunte chale.

#Lesson for today: Janaab, jaankar bhi kya karenge?

Khabar nahi

This lemon is back to being a loner for now. No more unhealthy pseudo-boyfriend crap. No more day-dreaming. No more longings. Although, I do have a little thing for someone I can't have and it makes me feel funny inside. ;]

Among other news, Delhi is yet again on high alert because of a random shooting. And Sheila Dikshit figures the best way to make people less terrified about coming for the CWG is to ask us Delhi-ites to celebrate the Games like they were a holiday. I don't think she gets much of Delhi will be busy with their Pujo/Diwali/Dusshera celebrations. Or out of Delhi.

What's to celebrate anyway? I can't walk around C.P. for hours, I can't take one particular lane in the road while the Games are on, I can't fuckin' go meet my friends because Mother thinks the police will fine me or something. I might just shift to Gurgaon for the time being. Not to mention that it's September and it feels like the winters are almost here. No kidding, it felt like the middle of November today morning. Which explains why I still haven't had a bath. Pointless exercise. It's not like anybody cares.

#Lesson for today: Sunshine isn't for me. Sorry, Katrina and the Waves.

Cadbury didn't come up Temptations, I did.

We all have our obsessions. Some small, some big. Small known, some like a dark secret eating inside of you till it spills out and you're afraid you're forever going to be greeted with one upturned eyebrow and a little whisper behind the back.

But then there are those, that make you incessantly happy. Those you think about when nothing else comes to your mind. Those that naturally take over so much of your time, you wonder when the clock struck midnight and moved beyond. Obsessions of the heart, where it doesn't even matter how obsessed you get.

Dangerous are those, that linger unaccepted.For once you know of it, you can let it fester on for as long as it must till the time comes for it to pass. Once you know of it, you can chuckle at it and talk to it like a child being unreasonable and know it cannot last long. Once you know, you know and you couldn't care.

You're fast becoming an obsession and I know it. But I'll forget you soon enough, like I forgot the others.

#Lesson for today: I've a major thing for German poets.

Blogpost

My table is cluttered. Not for the first time either.

A hard disk, a wallet.
A photograph, a scale.
A pair of earrings, a tin box.
An USB drive cap, a ten rupee coin.
And I've been staring at them for too long now.

Bas bohot has kar ji liye, kuch toh rone bhi do.

#Lesson for today: It rains, it pours, it drizzles. It keeps you alive, doesn't it?

Itna khayegi toh moti ho jayegi

Sometimes you'll do anything, be as forceful or as cunning or just plain annoying.

For free food.

I don't know why that is though. I thought we were civilized. I guess not. We're all wild lemons after all.

#Lesson for today: Free.Food.Good.

Mar gaya rahul

Hadd hai gary lightbody. Uska bass chale toh kisi bhi ladke ke compliments cliched aur overused lagenge. But till that time comes, I have momos to eat. Chicken ones at that, half of them friend and the other perfectly steamed. With the well measured combination of the spicy and sweet sauce.

Dusri taraf ek naiyya duub rahi hai. Kya karein, aathvi kaksha ke baad ab jaakar phir hindi bolne ka mauka mila hai. Ab mil hi gaya hai toh jaane kyun de?

Nimbu ke pedh ne bhi madad karni band kar di hai.

Bas ab ek tinke ka sahara hai. Wah bhi toota toh kya bacha?

#Lesson for today: Bachon, chahe french, german, sanskrit, spanish jo marzi seekhni ho seekh lo. Apni rajya ki bhaasha mat bhulna. Kyunki google translate ka vyaakran bohot ki bekaar hai.

Aur barso

I feel plain sorry for the CWG chaps now. Even if they are trying to get the Games rolling, the rain isn't making things any easier. The elements collectively decided to screw Kalmadi over. But I couldn't care. The moment I have my holidays, I'm plonking this fat-ass somewhere far away and forgetting the world exists for a while.

Seriously, I knew the third year of college was going to be hard. I just didn't know I was going to burnout in two month's time. It's already September and suddenly staring at blank patch on the wall has become very calming. What with watching two movies a day and making sense of all the symbolism, comfort eating seems like a good habit to develop again. More so because the momos near college are suddenly better than they ever were.

I am vaguely scared of Skype. I wonder why.

Phir baarish. Phir paani. Phir geele kapde. Phir maa ka daantna. Phir wahi hasi. Phir wahi din.

#Lesson for today: Even re-inforced plastic umbrellas cannot save you from the Delhi skies.

On a music box

What do you see?
You people gazing at me.
You see a doll on a music box,
That's wound by a key.
How can you tell,
I'm under a spell?
I'm waiting for love's first kiss!
You cannot see,
How much I long to be free.
Turning around on this music box,
That's wound by a key.
Yearning..
Yearning..
While,
I'm turning around and around..

Lemon Boy

Lemons are loners, I've noticed. Still, it has so come to be that Lemon Girl is in possession of something resembling a Lemon Boy.

Lemon Boy features heavily throughout this blog. He's never been credited, except for maybe as 'A'. Lemon Boy happens to be my best friend since forever. And my first love. And almost like my first boyfriend. *So Bollywood, I know*.

Lemon Boy complicates life to no end, yet he is the only one who can keep it very simple. Lemon Boy has a girlfriend, one he is very dedicated to. He does, though, have the softest of spots for me and is my pseudo-boyfriend. I don't know what that is, really. He's more than a best friend but not a boyfriend, I guess.

The reason why I'm saying this is that too many of my incoherent posts are so because of him. Now that he's out in the open, maybe much of the general confusion in my head will stop. Or maybe I'll grow tired of him and find someone new. Either ways, Lemon Boy is here to stay.

#Lesson for today: Lemon Boys are impossible to not love.

Queen of whales

There are always some chats which you want to frame and hang.

A: Tujhe ek course padhana chahiye. Self esteem proportionate to size 101.
me: Hmmm, you have a point.
A: I don't know how you manage.
me: Muskhil thodi naa hai. What is the worst they can call me?
A: Mujhe kya pata? Elephant, whale, moti?
me: Usmein kya hai? Koi whale bole toh uska simple reply hai: "I'm waiting to be declared as a new species."
A: ...
...
...
me: Theek hai, "I'm waiting to be declared as the queen of whales!"
A: Bahut paisa kamayegi tu.

Also

me: Haan re, I'm never getting a boy.
A: True.
me: Eh? That was rude.
A: I'm just saying.. you won't get a boy. You'll get a man.
me: Acha.
A: *Twirls you into arms, puts on music from Amelie and kisses till you forget about getting a boyfriend*
me: Should I cut, copy, paste to dearest girlfriend?
A: Kar le. If she breaks up with me, you can be my lifelong rebound. :*
me: Whee. :-|

#Lesson for today: Self esteem is easy. Love isn't.

Why does Christina Aguilera even try singing peppy songs when her voice is point blank perfect for sad songs?

I'm in love.

With Him.

#Lesson for the day: What? It's love.