Gah!

My online social life is now all of two years old. I believe a cake of some sort is on the cards. Sadly, two years and the subtelities of Social Networking still escape me. The following conversation with a friend might shed some light on this:
Me: Check your wall! Check your wall!
Friend: Gimme sec

Me: NO! NOW!
Friend: i wil.
Me: NOW MEANS NOW
Friend: die.

Friend: wth?!?!
Me: Kya?
Friend: Dude, u dun ask fer my snail mail onlyn, ttly agnst onlyn etiquette.
Me: Whaa? Serious?
Friend: Duh. n writin in caps iz jus yelln at me.
Me: i was excited.
Friend: oh gawd! n y r u stil writin in full formz? u gotta shorten it.
Me: I always write in full
Friend: *geek*
Me: Why does that make me a geek?
Friend: it also maks u a noob.
Me: what the hell's that?

As if painfully obvious, in one sentence I did manage to break three rules of internet etiquette without quite realizing how. Now this was just a few months ago and even though I have improved to a marginal extent, I continue to break newer rules everyday. You can't really blame that on me, since newer rules keep popping up every freakkin day! What's a girl to do?

#Lesson for today: I can't catch up with Social Networking. I'd rather be a noob.

Laugh please

One of the finer dialogues in movies:

"Sanka, you dead?"
"Ya maaan"

#Lesson for today: I'm random and retarded in a very normal way. Learn to love me.

Reasons why you can learn to hate Facebook

1. The home page has feeds titled:
"So-and-so took the quiz 'How Good Are You In Bed".

2. You get random 'Fraandship' requests here as well. I shit you not, even I thought FB was safe.

3. You open the bumper stickers application only to find Edward *Retard-o* Cullen clutching what seems to be his imaginary 'thing' and pointing it at you.

4. You also find biatches who thought the above was cool.

5. People who you successfully avoid every where else corner you on FB chat before you can shut it.

6. FB makes me fail in examinations.

and
7. The Disgustingtons literally live on FB.

#Lesson for today: I shall not be leaving FB anytime soon, but if I am inclined to do so one day you would know why.

Q. Why is our government (supposedly) a big happy family?

Ans.
Because the mommy and the daddy fight all the time so that neither loses face in front of the kids. The mommy and kids then bitch and backstab, later with the daddy as well. The daddy and mommy talk of divorce. Then the kids will sit together and bitch and hatch incessant plans that will only rock the parent's boat but not really throw them overboard. The kids will then be punished. Mommy and Daddy fight it out in a trust vote, or leave the other to crash before making up again.

Here, the "relatives" usually start to interfere, and are rudely quietened. Everything is literally blown apart till the Family Picnic arrives, when to make sure that the neighbours don't spread rumours, the family shows up smiling and loving. The outsiders pretend not to notice the ugly bruises and undercurrents of hate.

Family: UPA / NDA alliance
Family Picnic: General Elections
Mommy: Congress / BJP
Daddy: CPI(M) / AIADMK
Kids & Relatives: RJD, Samajwadi Party, Bahujan Samaj Party/ Shiv Sena, Janata Dal, Trinamool Congress
Neighbours: Indian Janta
Outsiders: Other countries, namely Pakistan and USA.


#Lesson for today: This is the story of every family, sadly sometimes even mine.

Exams

I Kicked Exam Ass.

That is all.

#Lesson for today: I Kick Exam Ass. To Learn more, as.lemonlime@gmail.com

O.M.G.

Well well. Isn't this just dandy?

Somebody totally stole my blog.

And by stealing, I mean they copied the whole idea. From the header to the description to omfg, the way I. Sign. Out. That was my piece de resistance. It took me like a few days of thinking to make this one a bit different to what people who read my earlier blog are used to. And they just go and rip it all off.

I mean, COME ON! Don't you possess like a teensy weensy grain of creativity at all? No brains? Nothing in that lil dumbass head of yours?? You. Disgust. ME!!! I feel like slapping an intellectual property rights case on you right now!

You scum sucking, thieving, idea laundering, bitch of a dirtbag. I thought you were my friend.

I HOPE YOU ROT IN HELL!

#Lesson for today: Don't even think about stealing something that belongs to me. I will take you down, bitch!

How I Met Your Mother

So, HIMYM is just awesome. It has no shame, just another awesomeness. It's like the next FRIENDS. And I am steadfastedly in love with it.

Who cares if Barney is a womanizer? He's legenDARY and he wears a suit! Robin, she has 5 dogs. Yeah, i love her already. Marshall and Lily. So soppy and yet so awwww.

And Ted Mosby. I would want a Ted Mosby. I like Ted. Ted is well, TED!

And the whole show, the quotes, the everything.

It's like, exactly how I felt when I started with Friends.

#Lesson for today: I stopped being just me, and started being awesome me instead. True Story.

Weddings

Weddings can br great fun, if
~ The bride falls asleep and refuses to wake up, making the wedding two hours late.
~ You leave the rings back at the groom's house and then drive like maniacs to get them.
~ The priest sneezes really hard right in the middle of the vows.
~ There is a big bee in the flower bouquet.
~ Everybody, including the bride is in jeans.
~ You leave the church after the wedding is done and meet some six hours later for lunch.

And

~ You are so excited about getting married, that you forget to pick up your mother from home.

This is the kind of wedding I went through today. Being the maid of honour and the "planner" for the whole gala, anything right or wrong that happened totally reflected on me. But since everybody in attendence knew what the bride and groom were like, they didn't exactly care and went along with all the fiasco's. From shy friends to drunk younger brothers, I had some fun company today, not to mention my dog, the bride's cat and the couple's new little puppy.

To Tatiyana and Ashish, love you both.
To Yash, stay away! :)
To Aaron, stop being so shy! <3

#Lesson for today: Happy couples are those who can smile through everything going wrong and still say, "that's so US!"

Yes, so having a wifi house rocks to the ultimate. I am currently sitting in bed with a tumbler of lemonade and dwelling on why I did not think of this before. Given, my earlier connection is absolutely wonderful I think that being able to roam around the place with my laptop is bliss.

For the record, do not ever ask if I am a dog person or a cat person. I am an animal person, literally. Gimme dog, cat, mouse, iguana, squirrel, bat, turtle, fish, lemurs, monkeys, sheep, goats etc etc, I'll love 'em all equally. And no, I do not in the vaguest believe any of them are evil. Evil just happens to be another word for sexy. Which all of them are. Except for fish maybe, some of them tend to lack personality.

This is a pic I took of a cat near my place and dear god, am I in love with its eyes or what.

And boo to you if you don't like 'em.

#Lesson for today: Patience reaps great rewards. Subtle impatience reaps Awesomeness.

Help?

Anybody struggling writers out there, with a good script?
Want to convert it into a real time production?
Or atleast get someone to read it?

Mail it to me, I seem to be out of ideas.

And a manhole with a cover, if possible.
as.lemonlime@gmail.com

#Lessons for today: Things written at 2 in the morn, while very sleepy NEVER come out as great as you think they have.

Holi (Shit)!

Well, holi's around the corner and I've already had the fun of playing two holi's before the actual day. One wet, involving a large hose and loads of water, the other comparitively dry with loads of colours and some well-aimed water balloons. From Saturday to Monday, I've looked like somebody who had a lot of chicken pox on their face. My hair seem to not have taken much offence to the colouring being dumped on them. Maybe, they'd grown fond of their red streaks.

I seem to have been spending a lot of time looking for new blogger templates. The point of this is still unclear to me, since I really love the simple tone of this blog and the other one already has a lovable scheme. Presumably, I have nothing better to do, which isnt exactly true because I have exams coming up and studying for them is a prioritized option. Not that I pay such overwhelming attention to my priorities these days.

And if anybody's got the time, do listen to Casanova In Hell, by the Pet Shop Boys. It'll have you rolling on the floor.

#Lesson for today: None really, I'm kinda off lessons for the moment.

Cold, Lights and Talents

We kick started video productions today. Kicked would be the right word considering the production K-I-C-K-E-D our ass. Thankfully, it wasn't my video thingy today or this would be a very long, weepy and bitchy post about injustice and cruelty to first year university students. Especially those from my course. But this is still a bitchy post. Hey, two outta three ain't bad.

For starters, I tried to get rid of my gut-wrenching fear of heights and have almost succeeded. I hope to report something awesome soon, in that area. We also got into figurative fist fights, literal goof ups and many many piss-offs. There were scoldings and reprimands and many times I wanted to bang my head against the wall. Or do the same to the fucking stupid talkback!

The cam crew sucked. They got thrown out. We rocked. We were in. Nothing went right. Gosh, did I have fun smirking though. Can't help it people, I am a mean, sadistic girl at the end of the day. I am also a fair, just and fairly judgmental person. Don't hold it against me, I'm only human. I hated some people today. I adored others. I basically lost a lot of hope in humankind today. Mabe we will soon turn into an Idiocracy.

Scary thought.

#Lesson for today: If they don't know how to work in a studio, their face shows the fear. Grab, bite and take the lion's share.